6.8.13

Judgement Day

hello jobless-but-totally-awesome-for-reading-this-blog users of the internet :D
so there are a few things i forgot to mention in my last post. like, the title. the thing is, i have a lot of guy friends, but every time i get close to a guy all we talk about is his girlfriends and ex girlfriends. so yeah, im probably going to be forever alone since even though im head-over-heels for this guy he doesn't seem to share the feeling. oh well, my day has sucked bad enough without getting into all that.
and the reason my day has sucked so far is that we got our marks from the exams today. i think that says it all. they were terrible, much worse than ive ever scored before. i have no idea what happened between the last exams and these ones. but i think the only thing to do now is try to do better next time. i mean what else can i do? apart from give up entirely, which im obviously not going to do.
so a while ago i decided that this blog isn't going to be all about me....
the day before my birthday last month one of my favorite actors, characters and half of my OTP (one true pair) died. it was pretty awful and i ended up almost not celebrating my birthday because i was so torn up. i know he was just a famous guy who didnt know i exist. but he was a good actor, and i was in love with his character. (in case you haven't guessed im talking about cory aka finn from glee) he didnt matter that much in my life, but knowing he was gone, that he would never play finn and there would never be a finn again...
and im a huge fan of his girlfriend, lea michele. they were to be married in two weeks and that just broke my heart. i mean how do you get over something like that? and another thing. he died of a drug overdose. since then, so many people have told me 'it was his own fault' and 'how can you feel bad about it' and i literally wanted to scream at. i get it, ok? you think taking drugs is despicable. you think he basically killed himself, and thats disgusting and no one should mourn his death. did you ever think he was an innocent person with a big problem? did you ever wonder whether he got sucked into it unintentionally and maybe even unknowingly? did you ever think about how maybe behind that veil of perfection his life sucked and maybe he just wasn't strong enough? some people aren't, and yes thats weak and cowardly and incredibly selfish. but you cant hate people for that, or blame them for being dead. i agree he should have gotten help and tried to be stronger. but im going to give him the benefit of doubt, and wish he could have had a long happy life, and miss finn every day, and hope that lea can move on with her life. if you think thats sick too, well good for you.
                           well anyway i really dont know what to write :/ im back to regular school. feeling awkward, wanting to punch someone, drawing the deathly hallows everywhere, groaning at people's grammar, etc. etc. clearly im feeling great right now. anyway i really dont know what to say so im going to post this story i wrote today. (its based on something that happened today but i've tweaked things around a little)
                           Carrie sat back in her seat, a happy smile on her face. things were going right for once. in a crowded room full of kids enjoying lunch, she didn't feel alone for once. she was sitting at a table with her best friend, her best friend's boyfriend and a couple of other friends of theirs. she finally had friends at this school, after about two years.
           she snapped out of her reverie when she heard Maia say her name. "huh?" she said, looking up at maia while toying with her food. everyone laughed. Maia said, "never mind, i was just telling them about what we did last friday." carrie siled. "yeah, that was awesome. anyway, you never told me what you did on saturday." Maia straightened up and flipped her hair back "oh my gosh, i got these really cute earrings. they're like these ten different studs."
           at this, chace turned his attention back to his friends. his hair caught the sunlight streaming in through their cafetaria window. Carrie stared. he was so, so cute. she loved how his dark hair looked golden in the light. "different earrings?" he said. "khloe has some of those." he smiled into the distance, as if at an old memory. "she loved wearing the camera in one ear and the heart in the other." he looked around expectantly at the group."get it? a camera and a heart?" carrie looked around to check if chace was making any more sense to her friends. chace said, "you- capture- my- heart." doing the actions for a camera and a heart with his hands. "so was she wearing them for you?" someone said teasingly. "yeah" said chace with a goofy smile. "she pinned the heart on my sleeve." Carries heart began its slow plummet down to her stomach and settled near her toes. Maia made a puke gesture behind chace's back.
          this had been going on for ages. she wondered why chace couldn't see how she felt about him. it seemed painfully obvious to everyone else. or maybe he knew, and he just didnt care.

thats it. please, plase, please tell me what you thought in the comments, or email me. id love to hear from you :) oh and im sorry if there are any mistakes, im typing this really fast. more later my lovelies.
xoxo TheGirlBehindTheGreenLetters

6.8.13

Judgement Day

hello jobless-but-totally-awesome-for-reading-this-blog users of the internet :D
so there are a few things i forgot to mention in my last post. like, the title. the thing is, i have a lot of guy friends, but every time i get close to a guy all we talk about is his girlfriends and ex girlfriends. so yeah, im probably going to be forever alone since even though im head-over-heels for this guy he doesn't seem to share the feeling. oh well, my day has sucked bad enough without getting into all that.
and the reason my day has sucked so far is that we got our marks from the exams today. i think that says it all. they were terrible, much worse than ive ever scored before. i have no idea what happened between the last exams and these ones. but i think the only thing to do now is try to do better next time. i mean what else can i do? apart from give up entirely, which im obviously not going to do.
so a while ago i decided that this blog isn't going to be all about me....
the day before my birthday last month one of my favorite actors, characters and half of my OTP (one true pair) died. it was pretty awful and i ended up almost not celebrating my birthday because i was so torn up. i know he was just a famous guy who didnt know i exist. but he was a good actor, and i was in love with his character. (in case you haven't guessed im talking about cory aka finn from glee) he didnt matter that much in my life, but knowing he was gone, that he would never play finn and there would never be a finn again...
and im a huge fan of his girlfriend, lea michele. they were to be married in two weeks and that just broke my heart. i mean how do you get over something like that? and another thing. he died of a drug overdose. since then, so many people have told me 'it was his own fault' and 'how can you feel bad about it' and i literally wanted to scream at. i get it, ok? you think taking drugs is despicable. you think he basically killed himself, and thats disgusting and no one should mourn his death. did you ever think he was an innocent person with a big problem? did you ever wonder whether he got sucked into it unintentionally and maybe even unknowingly? did you ever think about how maybe behind that veil of perfection his life sucked and maybe he just wasn't strong enough? some people aren't, and yes thats weak and cowardly and incredibly selfish. but you cant hate people for that, or blame them for being dead. i agree he should have gotten help and tried to be stronger. but im going to give him the benefit of doubt, and wish he could have had a long happy life, and miss finn every day, and hope that lea can move on with her life. if you think thats sick too, well good for you.
                           well anyway i really dont know what to write :/ im back to regular school. feeling awkward, wanting to punch someone, drawing the deathly hallows everywhere, groaning at people's grammar, etc. etc. clearly im feeling great right now. anyway i really dont know what to say so im going to post this story i wrote today. (its based on something that happened today but i've tweaked things around a little)
                           Carrie sat back in her seat, a happy smile on her face. things were going right for once. in a crowded room full of kids enjoying lunch, she didn't feel alone for once. she was sitting at a table with her best friend, her best friend's boyfriend and a couple of other friends of theirs. she finally had friends at this school, after about two years.
           she snapped out of her reverie when she heard Maia say her name. "huh?" she said, looking up at maia while toying with her food. everyone laughed. Maia said, "never mind, i was just telling them about what we did last friday." carrie siled. "yeah, that was awesome. anyway, you never told me what you did on saturday." Maia straightened up and flipped her hair back "oh my gosh, i got these really cute earrings. they're like these ten different studs."
           at this, chace turned his attention back to his friends. his hair caught the sunlight streaming in through their cafetaria window. Carrie stared. he was so, so cute. she loved how his dark hair looked golden in the light. "different earrings?" he said. "khloe has some of those." he smiled into the distance, as if at an old memory. "she loved wearing the camera in one ear and the heart in the other." he looked around expectantly at the group."get it? a camera and a heart?" carrie looked around to check if chace was making any more sense to her friends. chace said, "you- capture- my- heart." doing the actions for a camera and a heart with his hands. "so was she wearing them for you?" someone said teasingly. "yeah" said chace with a goofy smile. "she pinned the heart on my sleeve." Carries heart began its slow plummet down to her stomach and settled near her toes. Maia made a puke gesture behind chace's back.
          this had been going on for ages. she wondered why chace couldn't see how she felt about him. it seemed painfully obvious to everyone else. or maybe he knew, and he just didnt care.

thats it. please, plase, please tell me what you thought in the comments, or email me. id love to hear from you :) oh and im sorry if there are any mistakes, im typing this really fast. more later my lovelies.
xoxo TheGirlBehindTheGreenLetters