27.11.15

When Will It End

Does anyone else ever feel like their life is some sort of cosmic joke? Because I'm pretty sure mine is, and the fates are laughing at me. The number of times I end up in strange, awkward situations is evidence enough. Take right now, for example: my alarm mysteriously failed to go off, so I woke up fifteen minutes before I had to leave, and being a rational and slow-moving human being, I decided to skip my first class. This gave me around an hour and a half to get ready. Then I obviously spent way too long in the shower, rehearsing for my future career as a cruise ship singer, killing mosquitoes, etc. These things can't be rushed. After dealing with my ridiculous nest of hair, I had to find breakfast. Added to the stress of finding food was the stress of picking the absolute perfect time to get into a cab and leave. You see, I canNOT be early, because everyone else is already in class (the first one that i skipped) and there would be no one to talk to and I would have to awkwardly stand around alone before the next class and no one else would be there and some teachers might see me and then I would have to explain my cosmic joke of a life. So. Have to leave in time to arrive PERFECTLY on time (because I can't be late either, for obvious reasons).
Anyway, once I was done eating unhealthy amounts of papaya (all I could find, for some reason), I called for a cab and left.
-This is where the cosmic joke gets really cosmic-
So normally I walk out of my building, wait a bit, and the cab shows up. As I was walking down the stairs, I saw a cab approaching through the window. As in I saw it through the window, not like it was coming through the window. Anyway, when I reached down in front of my building, there was no cab in sight. I waited around, as you do, wondering what happened to the cab- and then a different cab drove up from the opposite direction. A rickety, old looking cab, but still a cab. It pulled up and someone got out. Sensing an obvious opportunity, I walked up, got in and shut the door. As we rounded the corner of the building, I was beginning to realise just how old this cab and its driver were, and what do I see? My cab. The cab originally meant for me, the one i saw from the stairs. My very new and not run down cab. Faithfully waiting for me on the wrong side of the building. Obviously, being the awkward person I am, I said nothing and just kept my head down. And as we passed the gate, I tried desperately hard to not make eye contact with the security guards who are in charge of this whole cab arrangement thing. They'd know i was in the wrong cab, and it was possible that they would stop me and ask, or something. I'd actually be delighted if someone made me go to my wonderful, faithful, made-in-this-century cab.......................... but it would be too painfully awkward. So no.
Anyway, now I'm sitting in this rattly cab, despairing about my life, praying that i'm not late, etc. I haven't eaten a proper breakfast in months. I also haven't done my math homework. In years. Oh well. Hopefully that was mildly entertaining, and I'll talk to you guys soon, xoxo, blah blah.
p.s. I made it to class on time! Perfectly. On. Time. No awkward standing around! No lateness! Hallelujah!!!!! One last exclamation mark! Bye!

27.11.15

When Will It End

Does anyone else ever feel like their life is some sort of cosmic joke? Because I'm pretty sure mine is, and the fates are laughing at me. The number of times I end up in strange, awkward situations is evidence enough. Take right now, for example: my alarm mysteriously failed to go off, so I woke up fifteen minutes before I had to leave, and being a rational and slow-moving human being, I decided to skip my first class. This gave me around an hour and a half to get ready. Then I obviously spent way too long in the shower, rehearsing for my future career as a cruise ship singer, killing mosquitoes, etc. These things can't be rushed. After dealing with my ridiculous nest of hair, I had to find breakfast. Added to the stress of finding food was the stress of picking the absolute perfect time to get into a cab and leave. You see, I canNOT be early, because everyone else is already in class (the first one that i skipped) and there would be no one to talk to and I would have to awkwardly stand around alone before the next class and no one else would be there and some teachers might see me and then I would have to explain my cosmic joke of a life. So. Have to leave in time to arrive PERFECTLY on time (because I can't be late either, for obvious reasons).
Anyway, once I was done eating unhealthy amounts of papaya (all I could find, for some reason), I called for a cab and left.
-This is where the cosmic joke gets really cosmic-
So normally I walk out of my building, wait a bit, and the cab shows up. As I was walking down the stairs, I saw a cab approaching through the window. As in I saw it through the window, not like it was coming through the window. Anyway, when I reached down in front of my building, there was no cab in sight. I waited around, as you do, wondering what happened to the cab- and then a different cab drove up from the opposite direction. A rickety, old looking cab, but still a cab. It pulled up and someone got out. Sensing an obvious opportunity, I walked up, got in and shut the door. As we rounded the corner of the building, I was beginning to realise just how old this cab and its driver were, and what do I see? My cab. The cab originally meant for me, the one i saw from the stairs. My very new and not run down cab. Faithfully waiting for me on the wrong side of the building. Obviously, being the awkward person I am, I said nothing and just kept my head down. And as we passed the gate, I tried desperately hard to not make eye contact with the security guards who are in charge of this whole cab arrangement thing. They'd know i was in the wrong cab, and it was possible that they would stop me and ask, or something. I'd actually be delighted if someone made me go to my wonderful, faithful, made-in-this-century cab.......................... but it would be too painfully awkward. So no.
Anyway, now I'm sitting in this rattly cab, despairing about my life, praying that i'm not late, etc. I haven't eaten a proper breakfast in months. I also haven't done my math homework. In years. Oh well. Hopefully that was mildly entertaining, and I'll talk to you guys soon, xoxo, blah blah.
p.s. I made it to class on time! Perfectly. On. Time. No awkward standing around! No lateness! Hallelujah!!!!! One last exclamation mark! Bye!